Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Win

I'll be spending my new years eve in madison with everybody else.
So I win.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New Years Resolution

End of the year wrap-ups are all over the internet, so while I think about my '09 here's my resolution.

Keep busy.

It's really easy to just sit in my room watching Boy Meets World all day, but this coming year I'm going to actually do something.
January I'm seeing Yo La Tengo, March I'm seeing Kevin Smith live at The Pabst, April is my campus tour, later in April is the Wisconsin Film Festival, sometime in spring I'm heading to Toronto on a train, and July I'm checking out the Pitchfork Festival.

So far it looks like this year is going to be pretty dece.
Especially with my comic coming out.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Tip

If you write an 80 page graphic novel script, and want to print it off, expect to wait a long time for it to be done.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

(500) Days Of Summer

Bought the (500) Days Of Summer DVD.
And now I'll probably be even more obsessed with the movie.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Distraction

Today is when I'm finally going to start my x-mas shopping.
No more distractions...

Whoa, a cool video.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Boy Meets World

I've been watching a lot of Boy Meets World lately.
(instead of posting...oops.)
Pretty much everyone who grew up watching that show wanted to be like Cory.
He's in love, he's having a good time in college with his best friend, and he got to meet Vader in the 4th season.
I wanted to be Cory Matthews...
Turns out, I'm Eric Matthews.

I'm a pathetic townie who's friends have all gone off to college, so I just sit around my house eating cereal and wondering why I can never connect with any of the girls I meet here.
Awesome.

Except Eric was really good looking, and my best quality has nothing to do with my looks.

Speaking of, I've just recently started writing again.
Editing the graphic novel I wrote and getting it ready to be forced upon my friends while I tell them, "It's 88 pages, but I really like it, can you read it while I sit and try to guess what parts you're laughing at?"
Awesome.

And my front yard is torn up because our basement is getting fixed before the whole house eats itself. I'll probably post pictures soon, since there's a 12-foot deep hole surrounding my house like moat.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Cory Matthews

Really haven't been paying attention to this lately.
Reason: burning every season of Boy Meets World onto DVD+R.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Snow Miser Sucks



If I ever see the Snow Miser I'm going to give that fool a beatdown.
He shit about 14 inches of snow on the Valley yesterday, and now it's 5 degrees out.

What an asshole.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Nothing

Haven't posted in a while...
because I haven't done SHIT lately.

Except watch Scooby Doo.
That show holds up like crazy.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Guess Who Almost Died?

Ok, I'm exaggerating.
But I totally thought I was going to die.

I'm just getting over a bought with food poisoning.
Which is pretty much the last thing I thought I would ever have to deal with, because of my vegetarianism and all-around picky eating, but I was stupid and wrong.

Tuesday night at about 5:30 I threw up for the first time in years.
And it was horrible.
The last couple times I've thrown up had been a complete non-issue because of how drunk I must have been.
But suddenly I was puking up chunks and black liquid that burned my nostrils.
After my stomach was emptied, the dry heaves came, and that was only slightly better.
This shit was pretty violent, because I would start gagging, then fall on the floor clutching a bucket and pouring sweat.

At about 1:00 a.m. I collapsed on the couch, since I couldn't make it up the stairs, and woke up the next morning feeling like I had pulled every muscle in my body.
All of yesterday was spent watching the Spiderman flicks and cautiously nibbling on anything I felt I could keep down.

Left out some details, because you don't want to know some things.

Today I'm feeling better, but still sickly.
Spending the day listening to Gregory and the Hawk and playing video games.
Probably Pokemon, since that's my go-to sick day game.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Live Cam Girls

Taking another step towards being completely swallowed by the internet, I bought a webcam.
The positive is that now I can start posting video on here,
(I've already started carrying my camera, so I can post some pics on here.)
so hopefully there will be some good video to come out of this.

Today won't be the debut video day though, because my room needs to be cleaned.
It's getting hard to walk in there. And my bed hasn't been made in a month.


Monday, November 30, 2009

Cat Power

When I got home from work my cat decided to follow me around the house, punching me.
I told her to go away and now she's looking all pissed off like I was the one who did something wrong.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Moobies

Doubling up today because of my lack of recent posting.

For the first time in a long time (years,) I haven't seen any of the movies currently playing.
Probably because I've done nothing but work and sleep for the last week.
BUT
I'm still going to review some of the more entertaining looking ones.
(Keep in mind that I have NOT seen any of these films and am forming an opinion based of trailers and my general ability to bullshit.)

Blind Side:
When a homeless teen is taken in by Sandra Bullock's retarded southern cousin, he learns how to love. This movie is full of sports metaphors for sex. This builds to an exciting climax (get it?) in which homeboy cums hard in Sandra Bullocks mouth after winning the Big Game. Jesse James makes a small cameo in the epic blowjob scene, as he can be seen furiously masturbating in the corner. I rate this movie as a must-see, but wait until DVD release so you can turn the volume off.

2012:
Apocalyptic sci-fi thriller 2012 follows John Cusack as he frantically looks for work. After his agent tells him that his career will be over unless he gets at least one major role by 2012, Cusack converts to scientology and adopts some children, eventually checking into rehab hoping to get noticed. As the days pass, the Earth begins deteriorating. The mountains begin to break off and fall into the sea, every volcano on the planet erupts simultaneously, and I rent High Fidelity for the 600th time. This movie will keep you on the edge of your seat.

The Men Who Stare At Goats:
The title says it all. For two hours and 10 minutes, you will see men staring at goats. No dialogue. Skip unless you're into goats...or men.

Planet 51:
An American astronaut travels to planet 51, thinking he is the first one to step foot on the planet's surface. He soon finds out how wrong he is, as he is challenged by the REAL first man to step foot on the planet: The Rock. The two agree to a no holds barred match, falls count anywhere. The winner of the match will be allowed to claim himself as the ultimate ruler of Planet 51. The fight starts out pretty evenly, until The Rock is slid a steel chair by some space-honeys. Two rock bottoms and a people's elbow later, The Rock raises his hand (and eyebrow) as the champion. He then blasts off in homeboy's rocket, leaving him there to train for a rematch. Total tear-jerker of a picture. I squirted a few drops when The Rock delivered the last line of the flick "If you smeeeeeeeeellllll what the ROCK is COOKIN'" 3.5 stars.

iPod Maintenence

Doing some iPod upkeep today.
Tried to put the new Jenny Owen Youngs album on yesterday and had no room, so I'm going through and getting rid of the shit I don't need to make room for awesome.

Like, "wow, why do I have New Found Glory on here?"
and
"I'm never going to listen to Of Montreal, can take that off."

It's pretty entertaining, but also embarrassing at the same time.
Both because of what I used to listen to, and because of what I now listen to.

Definite plus:
Got rid of enough disgusting punk to put The Lion King soundtrack on.
Now when I hold up my friend's kittens like Simba I'll be able to fully orchestrate the event.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Sleepaway Camp

If you've never seen this movie...
you have to see this movie.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Allison Weiss

I think by now it's pretty obvious that I like awesome girl singers.
This is my latest discovery, and she has tons of great videos on youtube.

Friday, November 20, 2009

MMM Commentaries

I love commentary.
Every time I get a DVD, I always listen to every commentary track.

That being said, I found out about a fad where people do fan-commentaries on movies and tv shows they like.
So I googled it and clicked on the first site that came up, listening to a commentary they did on the pilot episode of Futurama.

It was just 2 british dudes doing a straight, dry, joke-less commentary.
They're all like "and now we see Leela, who you might recognize as being voiced by Katey Sagal."
OMG dude. You're doing a FAN COMMENTARY. Make a couple dick jokes.

Why would anybody listen to people who had nothing to do with the show, describe what's happening on the show?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I Still Love You Macho Man Randy Savage

After extensive research, I've discovered that Macho Man Randy Savage is actually a crazy old man.

If you're unaware, Macho Man Randy Savage is a championship wrestler, slim jim spokesman, and my personal childhood hero.



After watching the first Spiderman movie (for the 100th time) I thought, "Dude HAS to still be around, where is that fool?"
Shit, Hulk Hogan is still active in TNA, and Macho Man is a million times better than him.
But the most recent bit of activity I could find from him was his horrible rap album. (along with a curious video of 50 Cent hyping him.)



So I went to his website and found a slew of videos of him in the gym, ranting about how he wants to take Stephanie McMahon "around the block" and calling out Hulk Hogan. When he isn't posting retarded shoot promos about people who don't even remember he exists, he's unsuccessfully attempting to get girls to send him n00dz. Really?

When did Randy Savage turn into a joke?
Tosh.0Thursdays at 10pm / 9c
"Macho Man" Randy Savage
www.comedycentral.com
Web Redemption2 Girls, 1 Cup ReactionDemi Moore Picture


I totally idolized this dude when I was a kid.
Epic fail.



...at least I'll always have the memories of elbow drops and fringed jackets.
You know, from back in the day.

Monday, November 16, 2009

I Officially Win At Twitter

I've been real neglectful of this blog as of late.
If this were a kid, it would have already been ripped away from me and given to a young church-going couple who don't do cop-out one liner posts.

I've been wrapped up in two things lately:
1) Hockey
2) My comic book

First off, hockey.
I've loved hockey for a while, but never followed a team or watched more than a couple games per season until this year, just because I didn't want to become "that sports guy."
You know the guy.
He says things like, "We really need to step up our defense if we expect to make it to the playoffs." and wears t-shirts to promote whatever year his team won the big game.
But fuck it man. Hockey games are fun to watch, and I love the Devils.
Which brings me to my point...
New Jersey Devils leading goal-scorer Zach Parise follows me on twitter now.
I win.

Distraction number two.
My comic book.
It's getting drawn and I'm super pumped about it. No doubt I'll be posting some sketches (or maybe even a full page or two) on here soon.
Some details: It's a 48 page legit stapled comic (6.625" x 10.25") with full color cover and b&w pages.
It was written by me (Brandon Koss) with art done by Brittany Schneider.
All I'll say about the story is that it's about Bizarro World and it's awesome.
Buy it.

To be as cool as Zach Parise, and help me win an intense twitter battle with @itsfran, follow me on twitter twitter.com/strictlygame

Friday, November 13, 2009

Thursday, November 12, 2009

This Time Next Year

I hope to be a published comic book writer living in Toronto, pulling a flask out of my boots as I head to a Leafs/Devils game with a cute indie girl.

Now I just have to make it happen.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Social Interview

The social interview app on facebook just asked me what I would do if I switched genders for the day.

I think the obvious answer is "I would play with myself. A lot."
Didn't publish that to my wall though, mostly because I have family members on my friends list.
But also because I know one of my friends would comment with "You already do that." thinking they're real clever.

Monday, November 9, 2009

100th Post

This is my 100th post on this blog.
You'd think I'd use it to hype something, or maybe do a 'best of,' or just a classy '100th Post!' graphic...
But no.

Pimping the twitter.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Post # 99

There's too many mutha'ukas 'ukan with my shi'.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Embarassing Thought Of The Day: 11/06

Miley looks real hot in this video.
and I like this song.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Personal Vendetta

When people tell me they liked the movie Paranormal Activity, I take it as a personal attack.
I saw the movie when it first came out, and have been campaigning hard against it ever since, telling everyone I see about its overall shittyness.
But people still fucking throw down on that movie, like it's on some blockbuster shit.

This abomination has grossed $84,627,372 domestically.
It only cost $15,000 to make.
WHAT THE FUCK!
It's nothing but a well-marketed Blair Witch.

Don't encourage these assholes to continue to make movies!

Luckily, Micah got killed off at the end, so nobody will have to suffer through his terrible acting if they make a sequel.
Crossing my fingers in hopes that doesn't happen.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Footwear Necessities

Need:
Cowboy Boots
Flask
Whiskey

Step 1: Put on boots.
Step 2: Pour whiskey into flask.
Step 3: Slide flask into boots.
Step 4: Start your day.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Twitter Break: Over

Just broke my 75 day protest of twitter.
But this doesn't mean I approve of twitter.


http://twitter.com/strictlygame


Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Traditions

Today is Halloween, which means a bunch of assholes are going to wear redic costumes and get way too drunk.
Unless you're straight-edge. Then you'll probably go to a hardcore show and talk about how much you love gore.

I'm just hoping that I get some candy at some point during the night.
...and that the Devil's win.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

What We Will Be

Pitchfork is slackin' mann.
I've had the new Devendra album for a week already and it looks like they're going to wait for the release day to review it.

All I'm going to say is that I love the new Devendra Banhart album.

[legally acquire] it for yourself right now and listen to the song "Baby."
Then go back and play the whole record through.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Things I'm "Over" Episode 1: Facial Hair

I hate it when people use the phrase "I'm over it,"
because it's always used pretentiously.
But I communicate in negativity, so it's time to introduce the new column called "I'm Over It."

I used be a strong advocate for facial hair.
Even if you couldn't grow a full beard, I was like "NVR SHAVE!"
Lately I've been disgusted by all the thin pube-ish facial hair failures that are walking around the Fox Valley.

Here's some rules on beard farming:
1) Either full beard or no beard.
2) Are you 15 or under? Yes? Then shave.
3) If your facial hair is red, then god never intended for you to grow it out.
4) Having facial hair doesn't mean you don't have to wash your face.
and...
5) Fuck mustaches.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Weekend's Don't Count When You Work On Saturday

I was planning on keeping this updated, by posting every day like I used to, but this is how my weekend went.

Friday: Work 4 a.m.-9a.m. Home. Slept until 5 p.m. Ate Dinner. Went back to bed.
Saturday: Work 4a.m.-8a.m. Home. Slept until 5 p.m. Ate Dinner. Watched Devil's game. Went Back To Bed.
Sunday: Woke up at 11 a.m. Ate breakfast and lunch within 15 minutes of each other. Watched Chappelle's Show until 8 p.m. Flaked out on friends. Went to bed.

As you can see, my weekend was depressing.
But at least the Devil's won.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Halloween Costume Suggestion

For anyone who still needs a Halloween costume idea:
I saw a guy walking in the WalMart parking lot today, who's outfit could only be explained as 'costume.'

Here's what you'll need to become a person of walmart.
1) Camouflage hat, folded upwards.
2) Fleet Farm brand tan coat that fits your torso, but is inexplicably 8 inches too long in the sleeves.
3) I saw him from behind, but can take a guess at the t-shirt he had on. Green Bay Packers commemorative tee from any of the years they won the superbowl.
4) Sweat pants with dark stains on them, tucked into...
5) Wool socks, pulled up.
and to top it all off, and ensure that you will DEFINITELY get laid at any Halloween party:
6) Crocs.

You should look something like this:


If anyone uses this at a Halloween party, look for me.
I'll be dressed as Olivia Newton John from the "Let's Get Physical" music video, and I'll will be happy to laugh at you.

Friday, October 23, 2009

To The People Who Make The SAW Movies

How much are they paying you?
I'll double it, if you stop.
Thanks.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Blogger's Anxiety

I haven't been posting much lately, but there's a reason.
Recently I was diagnosed with a condition called "blogger's anxiety."
Doctors say it was self-afflicted as I had been thinking about the fact that I have a blog and feel I need to regularly post on it.

After a very invasive treatment and release from the hospital, I've done some research on my ailment.
A shocking 70% of bloggers suffer from this disorder.

To spread awareness, I decided to post this blog.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

No Strings Attached

I was taking notes on some stuff I want to do for my next comic, and somehow remembered the most awesome music video of my "watching TRL" days.


(Click on the picture to get bigger version)

It might have been the "Bye bye bye" video, but this is what I'm talking about.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Blueprint

Finished the first draft of my longest script ever.
It'll be in graphic novel form someday, probably not in 2009.

This gives me time to work on my new project:
Blueprinting my dream house.

I know I want a old school Rocky-ish gym with a ring in it.
And also a Dad-style study with a fireplace where I would smoke cigars in my robe.
And probably a Batcave-like control room.

This will be pretty fun and totally pointless.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

It's Almost Time



I'm ridiculously pumped.
Going to the earliest possible screening.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Total 90's Day

Listened to Sunny Day Real Estate's entire debut album.
watched a lot of The Tom Green Show
and played Kirby's Adventure for a while.

I love, and will always love, the 90's.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Another Post About LIGHTS

It seems like every time I go online there's a new amazing video of LIGHTS. This one I found on myspace. (Who says myspace is dead?)

If you don't know LIGHTS, she's a Canadian pop star who also happens to be perfect in every way. Her full length is out on the 6th, but there's a couple of EP's you can get now as well as a ton of music videos and video blogs.

Can't believe I'm writing what is basically an advertisement for pop music, but check out this video and you'll see why I'm randomly super into her:

Introducing LIGHTS (The Listening is out on 10/6!)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Missing Superhero

I'm calling off my one-man search for the horrible mini-comic I did of the pitchfork-reading, thick framed glasses-wearing, coffee-drinking superhero Pretentious Man that I wrote and drew back in February. It must have gotten lost when I moved.

Not really a loss. Just thought it would be funny to read it and be embarrassed by it. There were 3 super-villains: the hip hop themed 808, the country music themed Lap Steel, and the metal themed Captain Corna.

808 talked in raps and could send bass shock waves through the ground, kinda like that Jax fool from Mortal Kombat 2, which hurt you somehow.
Lap Steel (very accurately) threw bottles of whiskey and had jet boosters in his cowboy boots. He was the lamest of the three.
Captain Corna was fucking metal and awesome. He could throw up his horns to summon the powers of hell and had an army of scorpions. He wore a denim jacket with a King Diamond album cover painted on the back.

Pretentious Man didn't have real powers. But, he would mercilessly cut down everything that any opposing force held dear, usually resulting in the criminal crying and distracted enough for the cops to slap a pair of cuffs on them. Sometimes he would scald people with coffee, but being a skinny white dude, he didn't like getting physical. Mostly he just fought crime so he could blog about it later. Pretentious Man had a catchphrase too: "I'm over it."

The more I talk about it, the cooler it sounds.
Trust me though...it was pretty lame.
Mostly because of the bad art.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Whoa

http://pitchfork.com/news/36620-wavves-vs-black-lips-fite/

Go there, read this.
Pretty awesome.
Wavves is a terrible fucking band.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Shit

This re-write is going to take me DAYS.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Um...album reviews.

When I started this blog, the first rule I made for myself was this: Never EVER become one of those fucking indie kids that posts album reviews on their blog like they're some kind of pro.
Rule Broken.
Oops.
I got a bunch of new music today and can't help but talk about it.

Monsters Of Folk - "Monsters Of Folk"

This lineup should have everyone who's ever bought a Saddle Creek release cumming in their jeans, but the reality is this album is nothing but a waste of space that I'm not willing to give up on my iPod. I should have seen this letdown coming after listening to Outer South. It's nothing but uninteresting americana bullshit. Skip this album and pray that the final Bright Eyes record will redeem Conor Oberst.

Girls - "Album"

When I saw that Pitchfork had given this record a 9.1 and "Best New Music" I assumed that it was another painfully lo-fi Wavves duplicate, but I gave in to all the hype and checked it out anyway. I was wrong...for the most part. The album is fun, upbeat, and exactly what I've been missing in my music library. Don't get me wrong, Girls is the kind of lo-fi near-punk that Pitchfork has been feverishly jerking off over lately, but unlike all the others, the fellas in Girls make it work. That last sentence may be a run-on. Overall, this album feels like a pill and alcohol fueled late night get-together with good friends and no hangover. There are some moments on Album that make the punk-hating side of me cringe, but for the most part I'm hooked.

Mika - "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"

What's more gay, the fact that I [legally acquired] this album, or the fact that I thoroughly enjoy it? The correct answer is probably: both are equally gay. "Touches You" is my new guilty pleasure sing-along. Mika has a great voice and non-stop catchy pop sensibility, it's irresistible. This album could make any jaded asshole tap their toes. It's not a perfect album by far, and I'm not even a fan of the genre, but it's so damn catchy I can't help but be totally out of the closet for it.

Volcano Choir - "Unmap"

Being from Wisconsin, I'm obviously biased toward anything Justin Vernon will ever do. The man wrote "Skinny Love" for christ sakes! Unmap feels a lot more driving than any Bon Iver release, while still delivering the ingredients my pretentious indie enthusiast friends love about classic indie albums such as Sung Tongs. What ingredients am I talking about? Weird chanting and long atmospheric buildups of course. Anyone who knows me will find it obvious that my favorite track is "Cool Knowledge." "And Gather" being a close second. Not an album I'll listen to very often, but if I find myself chilling in a dark room somewhere in the late hours of the evening, I will enjoy revisiting this.

Jay-Z - "The Blueprint 3"

This album sucks. Period. This coming from someone who recently [legally acquired] the Drake mixtape willingly.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Disorganization!

I'm about 55% sure I'm playing for the singer-songwriter night tonight at Harmony Cafe.
but guess who didn't practice?
and guess who knows nothing about what singer-songwriter night is?
and guess who doesn't even know what time this is supposed to happen?
...
This guy.

Three cheers for disorganization!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Back.

Didn't end up taking any pictures, so this week I'll post about all the stuff I did when I was gone.

But I just bought Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
so I'll be playing that for a while.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

9/15/09

Actual blog time.
Had a real busy couple of days. Not even cool busy, just like 'going to the DMV' busy. All packed for my trip. Everybody's meeting up at the airport tomorrow at 5 a.m. so I'll be dragging myself out of bed around 3:30. Awesome, right? I tried to pick up a trade paperback or something to read on the plane, but there was construction in front of the comic shop so I ended up going to Best Buy and getting the new Always Sunny DVD. Not like I can watch that on the plane, I just wanted the DVD.

I've been really bummed and just hanging out at home, and now I'm starting to want to hang out with people again. I'm still stuck in a city with a bunch of scooby douchebags, but there's 3 people who I would want to see a lot more. Hopefully coming off this vacation I'll be up on getting out of the house and we'll be able to hang out, because sitting around being super depressed about school and lack-of-girlfriend is not how I want to spend this year. I've even tried being social at work lately, which hasn't really happened since Cub Foods, since I usually just shut the fuck up and try to be at work for longer than I have to.

Taking my camera along, and even though I hate being the picture-taking guy, I'll probably have some to put up once I get back. For now I'm going to get some sleep, because sitting here at the desk is making me bring sweaty back.

Here's the newest LIGHTS video that I've fallen in love with. Just another example of how perfect and awesome she is.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Undeclared

Really thought about abandoning the blog-a-thon, but I thought since I only have 5 days to go I would stick with it.

My last couple days have gone like this:
wake up, eat, watch a couple episodes of undeclared, write for about 2-3 hours, watch a couple more episodes of undeclared, eat, write for another hour, lay in bed watching clerks 2 until I fall asleep.

I've been super bummed about everything lately.
Just the fact that I'm stuck in a city where I only like 3 people, and hang out with none.
I have to wait another year to go to school and start doing what I really want.
And I force myself to wake up at 3 a.m. to work a pointless job.
Throw on top of everything the fact that I'm single and that's what brings on my recent downer mood.

My trip is coming up, and I've got plans for once I get back, so this rut is probably going to be over soon.

But in the meantime, I've been getting a lot of writing work done.
It's pretty awesome.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Journeyman

I have a bizarre passion for traveling, considering I rarely travel.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Best Kept Secret

When you look at the top grossing films of this year, they all have one thing in common.

Transformers 2
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Up
The Hangover
Star Trek
X-Men Origins

Were all secretly written by:


I know you might say "that's obviously not true, tyler perry's movies are fucking retarded.

That's because the Madea movies were all secretly written by:

A retarded monkey.

Hollywood just puts the TP name on it to protect the man.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Suck

Everyone needs to get over:
Rush
The Smiths
The Ramones
Radiohead

because they all suck.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I Don't Get It...Again

I don't really have any friends here, and whenever I try to go out and meet people to do stuff with they always end up being stupid young douchebags that want me to get weed for them.

I didn't drink, smoke, or fuck at all until I was 17.
How are all these 15 year-old motherfuckers partying so much?

When I was 15 I was all about biking with my friends to the park, or sitting around watching MTV. These kids are all about sitting at some rando's apartment with a case of cheap beer giving each other sloppy bj's.

I guess I don't get how 15 year-olds got to be so fucking lame. Stop coming up to me when I'm getting coffee and asking me if I'm holding. You're not Lady Gaga.
Go ride a bike.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Friday, September 4, 2009

Enough Is Enough

My vacation starts in 12 days.
I'm planning on standing up in the middle of the flight and yelling "I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"
Hopefully the TSA will appreciate my humor and not arrest me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Target

Waking up at 3 a.m. for work is retarded.
They added a truck so I had to go in today instead of getting to sleep in. Never going to get used to that shit.

I ducked out early today, got some coffee and watched Watchmen, so the day wasn't a total loss.
But fuck, man. This is part of the reason why I want to be a writer. I'll be able to go to bed when it's dark out like normal people, put in a full day's work without having to do physical activity, and work with people who aren't all about complaining about co-workers.

Days like this are going to make it easier to say "fuck appleton" when I go off to school.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Listen Bud, He's Got Radioactive Blood

I've never seen Spider-Man 3, but I own it...soooooo
Spider-Man movie marathon begins now.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dirty Things

I don't really get anal.
It's always been like, a goal for a guy to convince his lady to do anal.
Maybe it's because I have the libido of a 3 year-old, but I think even if someone offered me anal I'd be inclined to pass on it. I can't even get into porn with anal scenes.

I shouldn't be putting much thought into it, but I've been listening to a lot of SModcast and Kev is always bringing it up.



After putting thought into it...
If Topanga from Boy Meets World offered me anal, I would do it.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Sunday, August 30, 2009

One Man PJ Party

Last day of what can only be dubbed "Pajama Weekend."
Been wearing these PJs since 8 a.m. Friday.

I was hoping to get a lot of work done this weekend, but ended up playing video games and watching comic book movies the whole time.
This got me thinking...
I would probably start smoking weed again if I had a small group of like-minded friends that I could smoke and watch movies with.
Instead all my friends that smoke end up smoking way too much and then wanting to jam.
That's probably why I was getting nervous breakdowns from it...
or probably not.
I'm not going to test my theory.

Just wrote a Driving Miss Daisy sequence for the film that leads into the Randy Newman sequence. On a roll, so hopefully I can ride this long enough to finish this draft.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

August 29th.

This blogathon is working out pretty good.
I don't really write what's going on in here, so I guess I can do a quick update.

Leaving for California in 18 days.
Pumped for that.

Once I get back we're going to start shooting my short film. It's all cast and we have every location down except one. Now I just need to get everyone their scripts and start shotlisting.
The script is weird to me, there's no "fucks" or "shits." Everything else I've ever written has been really joke-centric, this one is real straightforward drama. What makes me stand out is comedy, so I'm a little nervous about people going "This is bullshit, you really went downhill. Stick to writing stories about Bizarro World and robots, faggot." After reading through it I realized that I don't have any references to comics or star wars or any of my other stuff. (In the timeline of my shit, this story ends one year before the others happen.) At least the soundtrack is going to be amazing, and it'll be a film I can show my family.

I know I'm not selling it right now, but I do really like it. It'll be so much fun to shoot. I like writing, I like filming, and I love editing.

Obviously I'll be posting more info on here as we get stuff done, including pictures, trailers, any dvd info, etc...
So start saving up for the dvd. (Which is probably going to cost a whole $5 and include a ton of extra stuff)

Friday, August 28, 2009

In My Dreams, I Think I'm A Sailor

I had a really vivid dream where I had a lifesaver tattooed on my left forearm.
So vivid that I was convinced by the end of the dream that I really did in fact have a lifesaver tattooed on my left forearm.
Obviously I woke up and found out that it wasn't true,
but it looked damn good in the dream.

I wouldn't really get that done though,
because in my dream for some reason I had more muscular forearms.
That's the only reason I pulled it off.
I must have been a sailor.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mission Accomplished

I can officially grow a full beard.
Everything connects, even though the 'stache is real porn-ish.
Knowing this...I shaved it all off today.
Not regretting it yet.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Pumped For Sept.

I won another interpunk contest.
No idea why I keep entering that shit, I hate punk.
All I ever get is signed street punk cds.

Made a huge change in the short script.
Instead of the best friend being a guy, it's a girl.
This makes the ending make WAY much more sense.
So tomorrow I'm going to lock myself inside and finish the first draft.
The less I have to write in California, the better.

And now I get to cast another girl. Awesome.
Even though I couldn't get any better than the girl who's already in the movie:

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Woo

Finally got my Alta money.
Totally worth all the shit I had to go through, including having to make a statement in front of a judge.
Now I have spending money for California and a budget for the movie.

Today I'm going to try to find a cheap DVD rack.
Because my DVD collection has gotten out of hand.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Al Jolson

23 days until California.
I'm a little sketched out about trying to bring my laptop on the plane. Hopefully shit doesn't go down.

Along with having fun hanging out in Cali and visiting family, I'll be finishing up the script for my short film that I'm filming the last weekend of September. (and then picking up any leftover shots during that week)

Because of all this, I'm excited for the first time in years...
even though this script is more mainstream than anything else I've written (only 1 'fuck' and it might get cut.)

There is a whole conversation about blackface though.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

uhh...

wah...
bah...
sah...
ahh...
I don't know what to do with myself.

Yes, this means that I saw (500) Days Of Summer.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Friday, August 21, 2009

This Is My Future

I realized today after buying too many DVDs on Amazon market that when I get old I'm going to be one of those weird home shopping people.
This is what future-me will probably look like.



I imagine that version of myself weighing twice as much as I do now and wearing a t-shirt that says "I Heart Danny DeVito" that I got on eBay for $3.99 (what a deal!)

Although I can't blame myself for taking advantage of the internet for having a large selection of movies priced at only $.01 each, this could get out of hand.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Rank (Not The Smiths Album)

I actually didn't forget to do this thing today.
Decided since I've seen a lot of Batman movies, and because I didn't participate in any discussion after Dark Knight came out, here's my ranking of the Batman movie series.

Rank Batman movies:
1)Batman Returns
I hate Tim Burton, but this is the best one.
2)Batman Forever
3)Batman
Again, fuck Tim Burton.
4)Batman Begins
Christian Bale is the worst Batman. His "Batman" voice is really offputting.
5)Batman & Robin
Funniest Batman movie, and I do love Alicia Silverstone in that outfit.
6)The Dark Knight
Christian Bale ruined this movie for me. The only part of the movie that was enjoyable was Heath Ledger's Alan Moore style Batman. I was bored during every moment in the movie where Ledger wasn't on screen.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

WHAT? OKAYYY

My new favorite passtime is watching Lil' Jon videos on youtube.
It all started because I watched the Lazy Town mashup with Lil' Jon and then I searched for more videos making fun of him, but soon realized that nothing is funnier and more rediculously awesome than watching REAL Lil' Jon videos.

He's probably the funniest man in the world.
Wait, fuck aliens, Lil' Jon is the funniest man in the universe.

Of course this is distracting me from what I should really be doing, aka working on the script for the short film I'm shooting next month. (I got props and a soundtrack already?) But come on, who wouldn't want to waste time watching shit like this:

Monday, August 17, 2009

Hot Tub Time Machine

This looks real lame but I want to see it anyway.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I just read that the studio that made the shitty SAW movies is doing a remake of I Walked With A Zombie.
Major bummer.

Because I skipped the list thing last Thursday, and because I just watched Chasing Amy again, here's last weeks makeup Rank.

The new Kevin Smith directed movie went into post 2 days ago. so...

Rank Kevin Smith Movies:
1) Clerks II
2) Zach and Miri Make A Porno
3) Dogma
4) Jersey Girl
5) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
6) Mallrats
7) Clerks
8) Chasing Amy

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Step Right Up

A quick summary of the show last night:
We got there and unloaded. Played.
Then I had a delicious sun-dried tomato bagel with veggie cream cheese and a free organic chai tea.
Then I sang "Grease Is The Word" outside and people looked at me.
We went home.

I'll be spending the next two days inside. By myself.
Today I'm entertaining myself by backing up my iTunes and working on my adaptation of I Walked With A Zombie (a great flick from the '40s.)

Also, my plane ticket is all paid for. Orange, CA next month. It'll be nice to get some time away from this shit-hole town. Tomorrow I'll probably try to find a show in Anaheim to go to while I'm there.

iTunes backup status...burning Tom Waits discography.

Friday, August 14, 2009

I Hate Music

It's been an awkwardly busy week this week.
I'm playing drums and uke with Billy & Alex tonight at New Moon in Oshkosh. The address there is 401 N. Main St. It starts at 8.
In all the trips I've took to Oshkosh, none of them have been too pleasant, so I'm hoping for my first positive experience there now that Johnny Depp took over.

I also wrote a short film that I'm going to be shooting next month. It's the first script I've ever written that didn't have any 'fuck's in it. Maybe I should slip one in. The DVD will probably come out before my comic, and probably fund the publishing, assuming I can pawn at least a couple copies on my friends and family.

This blog will get busier starting tomorrow because...I'm forcing myself into a blogathon.
If all goes well I won't cry or post star wars factoids. That's what I seem to do when forced into blogging.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Not Indie Pop

I'm going to coin a new phrase:
Pop Indie.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

GJB

My friend's (plural) band got reviewed for the Madison Decider when they came through here on tour. Check it out:
Grizzly J Berry review

Then go to their myspace and listen to every song 100 times.
Then buy their cd.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Sucking Off The Entire Town

The one thing I learned last week was even though I say that I have no friends in Appleton, a lot of people here like me (for some reason).
So in hanging out with random fools this past week I've gained a new respect for this shitty little town I've spent the last 20 years in.
That being said I'm putting together a little love note to my city, in the form of a new short film.
It also happens to be a little love note to something else.
Which is where the actual plot of the short comes in.
No need to get into that.

The ideas that went into this script having been blocking all progress on the feature-length I've been writing for the past month. Hopefully by shooting this metaphorical load I'll be able to jump back into that mess.

A call to anyone in butt-fuck Appleton, WI:
you can be in this tragedy if you want.
If you're like me and hate being on film (even though it looks like I'm going to force myself into the male lead role.) you can help out other ways.
Musician? Send me your song, and I'll probably shove it in.
Handy with a camera? I will suck off anyone willing to take over shooting responsibilities.
Also, I'm cramming as much blatant visual shout-outs as I can (without turning this beast into a tourist video) so let me know what your favorite spot in Appleton is.

I know it's already August, but this is a short, so I'm planning on having it done before summer ends.

(500) Days Of Summer

I know I'm an indie bitch, but I really want to see (500) Days Of Summer. I'm one of those people that's super into Zooey Deschanel. She's probably the perfect girl.
Wisconsin sucks and I'll probably not get to see it until it comes out on DVD.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Rank (Not The Smiths Album)

In an effort to get more posts up here, I'm going to try another feature.
The Name Ten Things feature is kind of a pain and might be dying, so this one is going to be easier for me to do.
All I'm going to do is Rank shit.

This week...
Rank the members of the Wu-Tang Clan:

1) Method Man
2) ODB
3) GZA
4) Inspectah Deck
5) Masta Killa
6) Raekwon
7) U-God
8) RZA
9) Ghostface Killah

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Beard Growth

I'm on week two of my most recent attempt at beard growth.
Every past try didn't really go well, but I've never given it a full 6 weeks.
Hopefully I can stay strong and at least get that far, but it doesn't look too good.
Maybe I just don't have enough manliness to grow a full beard.
I'm no Grizzly Adams.

If god wasn't such a fuck-up he would have made me like the play-doh hair salon people. Then I could just push down on myself and grow super long facial hair. I think the head hair would go with it, but I could always cut that shit off. Way too drop the ball on that one god.

We'll see how the next 4 weeks go.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Yo Dawg. I heard you like blogs, so we put a blog in your blog so you can blog when you blog.

Now that it's over I can describe my busy weekend.

On Thursday some friends on tour came here. I was going to have them play in my basement, but we ended up going to Harmony instead. They played open mic and it went really good. Dudes sold mad CDs. Afterwards we hung out on the ave and Matt put together a bike for this girl he was trying to get with. I got home early enough to get 30 minutes of sleep.

Friday I woke up at 3a.m. to work. I don't remember working at all. I got home and we headed downtown to meet up with Matt and Brandon, since they stayed at that girl's house. They were supposed to roll out and play in Milwaukee on Friday night, but opted to chill in Appleton for another night and ended up getting a show at Harmony. The whole day was spent in downtown Appleton. After much Herberts&Gerberts and a failed attempt to get into the Houdini Museum, we kicked it at Heid's music for what seemed like hours (because it was hours.) That night they kicked the shit out of Harmony with a set that included just a little bit of scat. There was a hot girl working at Harmony and we went with her to a fire. My friend Steve was here from Madison and I watched him play piano like Randy Newman for a while. Mike was there smokin' his pipe as well. All the girls left the fire super early and Matt got completely lit. In the van he told everyone how much he loves us.

Saturday was a sleep catch-up day. I had basically been awake for 36 hours straight. The guys showered and got ready to drive down to Rockwell, IL. There was a minor van problem and they had to buy a new battery. The next thing I know it was 5:00 p.m. I ate and went down to Harmony (again) to see my friends from Madison play with Billy Rayson. The show was real good. I totally hated shows for a while, but this weekend may have pulled me out of that. After the high school reunion of a show, we walked around college ave, at one point breaking into an awkward rendition of "White Christmas." I got home and found out that my dress shoes stained the fuck out of my socks though.

It was a fun weekend. This week will be pretty tame. Having coffee with some people and then maybe a party on Saturday. Check out my friend's bands:
http://www.myspace.com/grizzlyjberry
http://www.myspace.com/weareavocados
http://www.myspace.com/billyraysonmusic

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Name Ten Things

It's officially saturday for another 25 minutes.
Time for this week's "Name Ten Things"
I've got a big stack of books that I want to read. I own them, but haven't read them yet. Time to put down the comics and do some real reading.

Name Ten Books I'm Planning On Reading Soon
1) A Moveable Feast By Ernest Hemingway (about halfway finished)
2) Silent Bob Speaks By Kevin Smith
3) The Cinema Book No author listed
4) To The Lighthouse By Virginia Woolf
5) This Side Of Paradise By F. Scott Fitzgerald
6) How Not To Write A Screenplay By Denny Martin Flinn
7) The Cantos Of Ezra Pound By Ezra Pound
8) The Red And The Black By Stendhal
9) If Chins Could Kill By Bruce Campbell
10) Talking Pictures By Sylvia Shorris and Marion Abbott Bundy

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Avoca Dos

If you're looking for a new band to listen to, check out my friend's band:
Avoca Dos

Avoca Dos Myspace

They're from Madison and pretty amazing.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Moveable Feast

I actually feel like I'm getting better as a writer.
It's because I read "A Moveable Feast" by Ernest Hemingway.
Even for a partially non-fiction book, it was pretty great.
Anytime I can hear/read more stories about Ezra Pound I'm happy.

But I learned some things about writing from the book that are really useful.
1) Always stop when there's still something left in the well. That way it fills up in between the times when you sit down to write. It also gives you a starting point, and everyone knows the hardest part of writing is getting started.

2) It's ok to write about yourself. A lot of people say you shouldn't write about yourself because nobody ever finds you as interesting as you do, but Hemingway proves this is bullshit. Sometimes the best stuff comes from personal experience, and a character who you connect with will always have that little extra emotional push because you connect with them.

3) It's funny when you call people bitches. Hemingway was a total dick to most people and it's hilarious to read.

4) Write a lot. This is pretty obvious but it's something I wasn't doing. After upping the amount of time I set aside just for writing I've gotten so much done and so many great ideas.

This is what I've learned from Hemingway the past couple of days. What a guy.
Pretty nice beard too.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Name Ten Things

Saturday again.
It really doesn't feel like the weekend when you have to wake up at 3 a.m. to go to work. But it's time for this weeks Name Ten Things.

Ten things I hate about Thom Yorke:
1) He wrote a song for the fucking New Moon soundtrack. What the fuck man?
2) He's a douche.
3) His face bothers me.
4) His teeth bother me.
5) That weird head shaking thing he does when he sings is annoying.
6) Every time I read pitchfork news I have to sift through at least 10 stories about him..
7) Radiohead is good.
8) He's ugly as fuck.
9) He knows that people will make a big deal over everything he does and is obviously super into himself.
10) Even though he's somehow become this big deal, he still acts like everything sucks. You can't walk around hating the world if you have a million fucking dollars.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bright Eyes

Conor Oberst is only going to do one more album under the name Bright Eyes.
His label says he's going to record it the first half of next year.

I'm starting to lose faith in him a little after 'Outer South.'
There was only like, 2 good songs on that album.
And after hearing the first Monsters Of Folk song,
"Say Please"
I'm even less impressed.

Is Conor Oberst growing up, or am I?

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Quitter

A couple months back I decided to quit drinking.
I overloaded on it for too long and being drunk just stopped being fun.
Now I'm going to extend that.

I'm not going to do any kind of drugs from now on.
I'm going to stop smoking pot,
for the same reasons I stopped drinking.

Those things are are ok to experiment with,
but at a certain point it just sucks.
I didn't even smoke very often and I still felt terrible whenever it was in my system.

Being a space cadet is cool when you're in high school.
Being a space cadet when you're 20 years old is almost lame.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Goodnight, Goodbye

Finally got "Goodnight, Goodbye" by Ivory.
It's as good as you would think.
Kind of proves that Appleton isn't a shit-hole and good things can actually come out of here.
IVORY
Go buy that shit on iTunes, yo.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Name Ten Things

Just got back from Madison so I'll do 'Name Ten Things' a day late.

Name Ten Things to do when getting home from a road trip

1) Shower
2) Pee
3) Eat
4) Change clothes
5) Sober up
6) Not unpack your shit
7) Listen to too much Alanis Morrisette
8) Stare at a wall
9) Lay down
10) Sleep

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Cookin' Ain't Easy

Three 6 Mafia is going to be doing a cooking show.
This is the greatest thing to happen in the history of television.
It's called Cookin' Ain't Easy.

Juicy J -
“We’re cooking Indian food, Italian, Asian, Middle Eastern food – all different kinds of foods that people wouldn’t think we could cook. It’s a comedy, it’s funny and we love bringing people together for it.”

I can't wait.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

2-0

Turned 20 yesterday.
Eh, it was alright.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Chewbbalah

To continue the dream topic:
I had a dream where I was making brown string bracelets.
A friend of mine walked in and asked me what I was doing and I said I was making Chewbbalah bracelets.

Apparently, in my dreamworld I made up a religion around Chewbacca.
The brown string had the power of protection.
It had my back like Chewy had Han's.


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Strictly Game

I've been having really vivid dreams the past couple nights.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Name Ten Things

Every Saturday I'm going to be putting up a list from now on.
I guess I'll call this "Name Ten Things"
Here's the first try:

Ten Albums I Can't Stop Listening To Right Now:
1) The Rural Alberta Advantage - "Hometowns"
2) Harlem Shakes - "Technicolor Health"
3) Plants And Animals - "Parc Avenue"
4) Alanis Morisette - "The Collection"
5) Discovery - "LP"
6) Bowerbirds - "Upper Air"
7) Cymbals Eat Guitars - "Why There Are Mountains"
8) Kay Kay and His Weathered Underground - "s/t"
9) Phoenix - "Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix"
10) The Unicorns - "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?"

Thursday, July 9, 2009

07/09/09

Been pretty busy somehow.
Slowly getting the money to publish my comic book,
and also getting ready for a show at my house.

July 30th, Grizzly JBerry & Peter M.

Now I should be focused on getting a second job so I won't be stuck in Appleton, WI for another year.
(Birthday is next Tuesday)

Monday, July 6, 2009

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy Fourth

I'm going to rise up
Gonna kick a little ass
Gonna kick some ass in the USA
Gonna climb a mountain
Gonna sew a flag
Gonna fly on an eagle
I'm gonna kick some butt
I'm gonna drive a big truck
I'm gonna rule this world
I'm gonna kick some ass
I'm gonna rise up
I'm gonna kick a little ass
Rock, Flag, and Eagle

Friday, July 3, 2009

Bzzzt

Shaved my head today.
Not too sure about my new look.
Check it out:

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Say

Making a bucket list.
I was kind of hoping John Mayer would show up and sing "Say" while I type it...
So far he's m.i.a.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

All It Takes Is Some Trying

Might be putting out a cassette ep of ukulele songs.
My cover of "Escape" by Enrique Inglesias would be on it.
Yes?

Monday, June 29, 2009

July 14th

On my birthday this year I want:
Short Shorts
A Life Jacket
Someone With A Camcorder

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Trek Letdown

Got a box of Fruit Loops today because it came with a free Star Trek beam-up badge.
Was hoping to get the Star Fleet Command badge,
but instead got:

The Klingon Empire

Saturday, June 27, 2009

rfr mdnss

Planted two new buds: Thelma and Carleton.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I Got C's In Art Class

I really want to make "Finding Bizarro World" into a graphic novel.
But none of my friends are really into drawing comics, or even drawing at all.
So I attempted a panel.
This just re-enforces my belief that someone else should draw it for me.

What A Place I Live In

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Transformers 2

Saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen today and it was nothing like I expected.

It was real intense when the government investigation made Margret and Andrew spend the weekend in Alaska,
and Craig T. Nelson was great as Andrew's father.
The only thing that bothered me was that Sandra Bullock thinks it's so terrible to be deported to Canada.
But at least there was a happy ending, because Ryan Reynolds proposed to her for real at the end.

All in all, it was alright. But I think next time I'll go see The Proposal.
I heard it has robots in it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Pitchfork Douche

I really didn't want this to be a pretentious indie blog, but...
Yesterday I put a bunch of albums on my iPod and they're all great.

The Blow -"Paper Television"
Deer Tick - "War Elephant"
The Dodos - "Visiter"
Heartless Bastards - "The Mountain"
Horse Feathers - "Words Are Dead"
Starfucker - "Starfucker"