Things I'm "Over" Episode 1: Facial Hair

I hate it when people use the phrase "I'm over it,"
because it's always used pretentiously.
But I communicate in negativity, so it's time to introduce the new column called "I'm Over It."

I used be a strong advocate for facial hair.
Even if you couldn't grow a full beard, I was like "NVR SHAVE!"
Lately I've been disgusted by all the thin pube-ish facial hair failures that are walking around the Fox Valley.

Here's some rules on beard farming:
1) Either full beard or no beard.
2) Are you 15 or under? Yes? Then shave.
3) If your facial hair is red, then god never intended for you to grow it out.
4) Having facial hair doesn't mean you don't have to wash your face.
and...
5) Fuck mustaches.