Monday, July 26, 2010

Oh, Man

I'm super bummed right now, but don't want to emo-blog. So heres a really dirty convo I subjected my friend to tonight on fb chat.


Me:
i have a new crush. finally admittng this now that i found out she's legal.
it's the chick who plays stephanie on lazy town.

Ruth:
haha
shes legal now?

Me:
she's 19 and i'm going to fucking iceland, or wherever they made that show because i've always wanted to fuck a children's programming star in another country

Ruth:
this is your goal?

Me:
not really. but she's pretty hot

Ruth:
so do it

Me:
"hey, i'm 21 and live at my mom's house in small town wisconsin. i listen to the lil jon remix of your song all the time. wanna fuck? (attach picture of dick)"

Ruth:
shed go for it. if shes classy.

Me:
i'd videotape that shit. because none of my friends would believe otherwise. and once a year i'd have viewing parties of it. in HD. and the whole time i'm fucking her i'd be like "grab that shit it's yours bitch" and she's like "god damn it, i hate that video"

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Turned 21, NBD

My birthday was last week.
To rank it as memorable birthdays I'd say
1) 18th
2) 19th
3) 21st

Went to a show at the Patty Mayonnaise. I thought it was going to be awkward, so I got weirdly drunk on vodka within the first 15 minutes I was there. Eventually, I had to piss. That's when I took this pic.



The guy's little speach bubble says "Happy Birthday to me." When I read that, my mind fucking EXPLODED.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

V.2

Long hiatus over.
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