Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Missing Superhero

I'm calling off my one-man search for the horrible mini-comic I did of the pitchfork-reading, thick framed glasses-wearing, coffee-drinking superhero Pretentious Man that I wrote and drew back in February. It must have gotten lost when I moved.

Not really a loss. Just thought it would be funny to read it and be embarrassed by it. There were 3 super-villains: the hip hop themed 808, the country music themed Lap Steel, and the metal themed Captain Corna.

808 talked in raps and could send bass shock waves through the ground, kinda like that Jax fool from Mortal Kombat 2, which hurt you somehow.
Lap Steel (very accurately) threw bottles of whiskey and had jet boosters in his cowboy boots. He was the lamest of the three.
Captain Corna was fucking metal and awesome. He could throw up his horns to summon the powers of hell and had an army of scorpions. He wore a denim jacket with a King Diamond album cover painted on the back.

Pretentious Man didn't have real powers. But, he would mercilessly cut down everything that any opposing force held dear, usually resulting in the criminal crying and distracted enough for the cops to slap a pair of cuffs on them. Sometimes he would scald people with coffee, but being a skinny white dude, he didn't like getting physical. Mostly he just fought crime so he could blog about it later. Pretentious Man had a catchphrase too: "I'm over it."

The more I talk about it, the cooler it sounds.
Trust me though...it was pretty lame.
Mostly because of the bad art.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Whoa

http://pitchfork.com/news/36620-wavves-vs-black-lips-fite/

Go there, read this.
Pretty awesome.
Wavves is a terrible fucking band.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Shit

This re-write is going to take me DAYS.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Um...album reviews.

When I started this blog, the first rule I made for myself was this: Never EVER become one of those fucking indie kids that posts album reviews on their blog like they're some kind of pro.
Rule Broken.
Oops.
I got a bunch of new music today and can't help but talk about it.

Monsters Of Folk - "Monsters Of Folk"

This lineup should have everyone who's ever bought a Saddle Creek release cumming in their jeans, but the reality is this album is nothing but a waste of space that I'm not willing to give up on my iPod. I should have seen this letdown coming after listening to Outer South. It's nothing but uninteresting americana bullshit. Skip this album and pray that the final Bright Eyes record will redeem Conor Oberst.

Girls - "Album"

When I saw that Pitchfork had given this record a 9.1 and "Best New Music" I assumed that it was another painfully lo-fi Wavves duplicate, but I gave in to all the hype and checked it out anyway. I was wrong...for the most part. The album is fun, upbeat, and exactly what I've been missing in my music library. Don't get me wrong, Girls is the kind of lo-fi near-punk that Pitchfork has been feverishly jerking off over lately, but unlike all the others, the fellas in Girls make it work. That last sentence may be a run-on. Overall, this album feels like a pill and alcohol fueled late night get-together with good friends and no hangover. There are some moments on Album that make the punk-hating side of me cringe, but for the most part I'm hooked.

Mika - "The Boy Who Knew Too Much"

What's more gay, the fact that I [legally acquired] this album, or the fact that I thoroughly enjoy it? The correct answer is probably: both are equally gay. "Touches You" is my new guilty pleasure sing-along. Mika has a great voice and non-stop catchy pop sensibility, it's irresistible. This album could make any jaded asshole tap their toes. It's not a perfect album by far, and I'm not even a fan of the genre, but it's so damn catchy I can't help but be totally out of the closet for it.

Volcano Choir - "Unmap"

Being from Wisconsin, I'm obviously biased toward anything Justin Vernon will ever do. The man wrote "Skinny Love" for christ sakes! Unmap feels a lot more driving than any Bon Iver release, while still delivering the ingredients my pretentious indie enthusiast friends love about classic indie albums such as Sung Tongs. What ingredients am I talking about? Weird chanting and long atmospheric buildups of course. Anyone who knows me will find it obvious that my favorite track is "Cool Knowledge." "And Gather" being a close second. Not an album I'll listen to very often, but if I find myself chilling in a dark room somewhere in the late hours of the evening, I will enjoy revisiting this.

Jay-Z - "The Blueprint 3"

This album sucks. Period. This coming from someone who recently [legally acquired] the Drake mixtape willingly.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Disorganization!

I'm about 55% sure I'm playing for the singer-songwriter night tonight at Harmony Cafe.
but guess who didn't practice?
and guess who knows nothing about what singer-songwriter night is?
and guess who doesn't even know what time this is supposed to happen?
...
This guy.

Three cheers for disorganization!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Back.

Didn't end up taking any pictures, so this week I'll post about all the stuff I did when I was gone.

But I just bought Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
so I'll be playing that for a while.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

9/15/09

Actual blog time.
Had a real busy couple of days. Not even cool busy, just like 'going to the DMV' busy. All packed for my trip. Everybody's meeting up at the airport tomorrow at 5 a.m. so I'll be dragging myself out of bed around 3:30. Awesome, right? I tried to pick up a trade paperback or something to read on the plane, but there was construction in front of the comic shop so I ended up going to Best Buy and getting the new Always Sunny DVD. Not like I can watch that on the plane, I just wanted the DVD.

I've been really bummed and just hanging out at home, and now I'm starting to want to hang out with people again. I'm still stuck in a city with a bunch of scooby douchebags, but there's 3 people who I would want to see a lot more. Hopefully coming off this vacation I'll be up on getting out of the house and we'll be able to hang out, because sitting around being super depressed about school and lack-of-girlfriend is not how I want to spend this year. I've even tried being social at work lately, which hasn't really happened since Cub Foods, since I usually just shut the fuck up and try to be at work for longer than I have to.

Taking my camera along, and even though I hate being the picture-taking guy, I'll probably have some to put up once I get back. For now I'm going to get some sleep, because sitting here at the desk is making me bring sweaty back.

Here's the newest LIGHTS video that I've fallen in love with. Just another example of how perfect and awesome she is.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Undeclared

Really thought about abandoning the blog-a-thon, but I thought since I only have 5 days to go I would stick with it.

My last couple days have gone like this:
wake up, eat, watch a couple episodes of undeclared, write for about 2-3 hours, watch a couple more episodes of undeclared, eat, write for another hour, lay in bed watching clerks 2 until I fall asleep.

I've been super bummed about everything lately.
Just the fact that I'm stuck in a city where I only like 3 people, and hang out with none.
I have to wait another year to go to school and start doing what I really want.
And I force myself to wake up at 3 a.m. to work a pointless job.
Throw on top of everything the fact that I'm single and that's what brings on my recent downer mood.

My trip is coming up, and I've got plans for once I get back, so this rut is probably going to be over soon.

But in the meantime, I've been getting a lot of writing work done.
It's pretty awesome.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Journeyman

I have a bizarre passion for traveling, considering I rarely travel.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Best Kept Secret

When you look at the top grossing films of this year, they all have one thing in common.

Transformers 2
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Up
The Hangover
Star Trek
X-Men Origins

Were all secretly written by:


I know you might say "that's obviously not true, tyler perry's movies are fucking retarded.

That's because the Madea movies were all secretly written by:

A retarded monkey.

Hollywood just puts the TP name on it to protect the man.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Suck

Everyone needs to get over:
Rush
The Smiths
The Ramones
Radiohead

because they all suck.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

I Don't Get It...Again

I don't really have any friends here, and whenever I try to go out and meet people to do stuff with they always end up being stupid young douchebags that want me to get weed for them.

I didn't drink, smoke, or fuck at all until I was 17.
How are all these 15 year-old motherfuckers partying so much?

When I was 15 I was all about biking with my friends to the park, or sitting around watching MTV. These kids are all about sitting at some rando's apartment with a case of cheap beer giving each other sloppy bj's.

I guess I don't get how 15 year-olds got to be so fucking lame. Stop coming up to me when I'm getting coffee and asking me if I'm holding. You're not Lady Gaga.
Go ride a bike.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Friday, September 4, 2009

Enough Is Enough

My vacation starts in 12 days.
I'm planning on standing up in the middle of the flight and yelling "I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!"
Hopefully the TSA will appreciate my humor and not arrest me.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Target

Waking up at 3 a.m. for work is retarded.
They added a truck so I had to go in today instead of getting to sleep in. Never going to get used to that shit.

I ducked out early today, got some coffee and watched Watchmen, so the day wasn't a total loss.
But fuck, man. This is part of the reason why I want to be a writer. I'll be able to go to bed when it's dark out like normal people, put in a full day's work without having to do physical activity, and work with people who aren't all about complaining about co-workers.

Days like this are going to make it easier to say "fuck appleton" when I go off to school.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Listen Bud, He's Got Radioactive Blood

I've never seen Spider-Man 3, but I own it...soooooo
Spider-Man movie marathon begins now.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dirty Things

I don't really get anal.
It's always been like, a goal for a guy to convince his lady to do anal.
Maybe it's because I have the libido of a 3 year-old, but I think even if someone offered me anal I'd be inclined to pass on it. I can't even get into porn with anal scenes.

I shouldn't be putting much thought into it, but I've been listening to a lot of SModcast and Kev is always bringing it up.



After putting thought into it...
If Topanga from Boy Meets World offered me anal, I would do it.